This one's for you honey! This one's kind of important to me because we've had some bumps along the way dealing with my running obsession. I know that other runners have had this problem as well so I want to encourage you to keep on plugging along with both your running and your partner.
My running friends know I'm yappy, my husband knows I'm yappy, but what he didn't know is that when my newest obsession took over that he'd have to listen to my constant jabbering about running this and running that. He's kind of used to my OCD and I joke around about it, but it can sometimes be really hard on the people around me. Anyhow, the last year has been somewhat trying for us as we work out the bugs with changes, but one of the assets I have is that I'm not a quitter. Most people know that about me. Once I set my mind to something I usually stick with it and this along with my running this includes my marriage. Just like running I reassess when something isn't working and make changes. I can happily say I think we've come out on the other side! Yes, we'll probably still have another running fight or two, but I think we've finally overcome this hurdle. Well, here are the tricks I am learning along the way to make marriage and obsessive running work.
1. Do not force your partner to be interested in your running. Also do not try and turn them into a runner. If they are interested it will come naturally. It's okay if you don't like the same things and it's important to remind them and yourself of that. It is okay to ask them to run with you or try to encourage it, but don't force the issue.
2. Do try to find a mutual hobby or something to do together. For us, this is a big one. What we found is that we felt disconnected some because our interests were different. We are working on something fun that we both like to do together.
3. Try to adjust your running to be not so disruptive to the family's routine. That is not to say there shouldn't be any give and take on this, but if your running is interfering with every single outing that is planned this could cause a problem. My husband is very good about taking over with the kiddos so I can run and this has actually never been an issue. He knows how much I do all day and has never had a problem picking up the slack. Other spouses though do feel differently on this. For us, the bigger issue has been me missing out on family things versus him having to pick up extra responsibility.
4. Following number 3 another tip is keeping a family calendar. Figure out important dates like vacations and events that your kids or spouse may be participating in. Use this when you schedule your races. More than once have I managed to schedule a race during a date that was planned for a kiddo's sporting event or a party that we were invited to. Not all things can be planned ahead, but if you put a little effort there you can avoid this conflict.
5. Races - this is a your partner may vary kind of situation. Mine does not like going to races. We have found that we get along so much better when I go by myself. Also, and this is hard for me, I get big time taper madness that can test the patience of every single person in my family. I try to remind my husband that this too will pass... until the next race anyway.
6. My final tip don't hold in hostility towards each other- keep the lines of communication open. Keep talking. Just like running sometimes you gotta push along through the tough spots and run on the days you just don't flipping feel like it so goes with marriage. Sometimes you gotta just push along talking until you get past that rough spot. Just like with running though you'll often find your second wind. Sometimes this is easier said than done, but you married them for a reason. Remember that. Just like when you lose your running mojo sometimes you lose your marriage mojo. Do something to rekindle that.
Love you with all my heart Mr. Wannaberunningmama
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