Supermom fail

.Well, this weekend flat out sucked. I got a 6 mile run in, but that's about all that went right. I ate HORRIBLY. I hate that I am a stress eater. I can seriously pick up 4 or 5 lbs in a weekend if I get really stressed out. I get really frustrated because I constantly tell myself I can do anything I put my mind to. Reality is I am human. I can't do it all - or at least I can't do it all, all the time. I am regrouping today. I know the biggest thing for me that I have figured out is to pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and keep moving. I tripped over the hurdle, but you know what I'll get the next one. I was surrounded by entirely too much negativity this weekend. It really affected my mood. I'm a little stressed out about keeping up with school and running. Ugh and Miss Natalie is back at it again closing the laptop.... See you kids later

How bad do I want it?

Oh yeah, oh yeah. Trying to keep the motivation high. I really, really, really want a PR this year! I'm tired of spinning my wheels and I refuse to show up in Chicago having been all talk. Tomorrow is going to be one of those days. Actually this whole weekend will be challenging. You see I'm going to nursing school. It's a non-traditional program so the clinicals are scheduled kind of weird, but it is making me really have to juggle to have it all. I've had a few people suggest that I might have to scale back my running to keep up with nursing school. I thought about it. I really did and believe me there are some days, a lot of days, where I feel like saying screw it. I'm tired. I'm not running today. The one thing that sticks in my head and it's something my dad used to say a lot "One excuse is as good as another." Lots of people have lots of excuses why they don't exercise. Shoot, my excuses would sound really good too. I mean hell everyone knows nursing school is challenging and time consuming and stressful. So, the reason I run is simple. One excuse is as good as another. What am I going to do when I'm through school? If I can't figure out how to run and go to school, how will I hold a job and keep running. The way I look at it, life is always going to be juggling for me. Anyhow, today was one of those days that I really was tired and so much of me wanted to skip my run. I got up at 4:15am to do homework and the girls had Girls on the Run. By the time I got back from getting them it was 6pm and I still had dinner to get going and I just wanted to say screw it. I thought about Chicago. I thought about Charlevoix. I thought about another 6 months going by with me spinning my wheels at the same pace and I got my darn shoes on and got out the door. I refuse to show up in Chicago being all talk. I really, really, really want to be sub 4 THIS year! I am not sure how I am going to get there because speed is coming so slow to me lately, but darn it I want it. Anyhow, had a phenomenal run once I got out the door. Tomorrow is going to be just as challenging. I need to figure out how to squeeze in 10 miles before heading to Indianapolis for clinicals. It's a 5 hour drive there and I will be busy all weekend so running it there would be really difficult. I'm thinking that me and my jogging stroller need to make friends. I really hate that stroller! Sorry to all my running friends that run in strollers all the time. Jealous of your stamina. I don't know how you do it. Not sure if I can pull 10 miles in the stroller or not, but one way or another I will be getting in those 10 miles. Chicago! Go, go Chicago!

Speak for yourself!

Okay, this post has been in my head for a while now. Please forgive me if I sound too big headed or self righteous - those are my two biggest character flaws and I am well aware of them. My husband says that's why he never tells me I'm doing a great job because I do enough of it for him. Anywho.. back to the point of this post. I've been reading a lot of posts from back of the pack runners lately. And you know what, good for them! They are getting out there and doing something and I think that's fantastic. Now I figure is time for a post from a former back of the packer, now middle of the packer, future front of the packer (stole that from a friend I know..., but I liked it so going with it.)

For those that don't know me gonna get a little personal here and reach out on some of the things I have accomplished in my life and why I dream big and why I say speak for yourself! First off I'm a Navy veteran. Boot camp was tough! I am a big wuss, girly girl through and through, but I like the challenge and marathon, babies, anything else in my life that has come has spun off of that first accomplishment. The military forever changes a person, develops character, persistence, pride, something you just can't find anywhere else. Second big game changer Justmommies.com - this is my sister's biggest pride and she often asks me why I don't rank that first on my list of things I'm proud of. My sister and I started Justmommies.com in 2004 with nothing more than 2 computers (one picked up for $45 at a garage sale because she couldn't afford a computer and I love her so much.) Justmommies grew to over 1/2 million visitors before we sold. I am no longer part owner of Justmommies, nor employee, but I will say that JM pushed along my big dreaming! People told us we couldn't do it then and my sister and I said we dream big!

Number 3 changer - don't ask me why this moment sticks out in my head so much, but it does. Sometime when Leo was a baby and I was massively overweight at the time. Some of you all haven't seen my fat pictures and may delude yourself into believing that being thin and in shape just comes easy to me - Before and After Pics Anyhow,I was at this Christmas party and there was a older gal sitting next to me. Then there was this other gal dressed in some skimpy party dress who looked pretty dang good. The older gal sitting next to me says "We'll never look that good again..." and the whole time I thought to myself... "SPEAK FOR YOURSELF".

Now, this brings me full circle back to the start of my post and my wonderful running friends. As a middle of the pack runner now, I hear things like "we'll never be that fast" and the like and all that runs through my head on this one is "SPEAK FOR YOURSELF". I may be slow right now, but I dream big! Just like when I started Justmommies with 4 people, my sister and I KNEW we could do it. Welp, guess what that's how I feel about running right now too. I KNOW I can do this. Now, don't get me wrong I don't mean I'm gonna go out and win the world Olympics. I'm delusional, not stupid. I am after all almost 39 years old. I am going to nursing school so have a pretty good familiarity with physiology. I am not in my prime, but all that being said, I am a pretty determined individual, big headedness or not, oh well. I plan to rock on this summer. I got a big dream right now and that's sub 4 for Chicago! Oh and since I pick a mantra for every marathon I run, I got mine picked for Chicago. First marathon I think was "Stick to the Plan". Second one was "Make it Count". Third marathon was "Never Give Up". Well, guess what my mantra is for Chicago "Heart and Soul". Stay tuned for great things to come from me. I'm gonna try to actually blog my way through training on this one and not be the slacker blogger you know and love that only comes around to toot her own horn.

2012 Kalamazoo Marathon Race Report

Stomach was bugging me night before the race and I woke up at 3am with it still bugging me. I was real nervous about this race, but wanting to have some fun more than anything else. I had a goal in mind, but was very prepared that a PR might not happen on this one as my training wasn’t as good with all the cold weather and school. Plus this course was a lot harder. I should mention I got my hair done with pink hair braided in and had my pink running skirt and bright pink socks along with my supermom shirt. I was all psyched to have some fun with this one since I wasn’t sure that I was going to do well.
Get to start line and line up with the 4:15 pace group. That was fun. I talked with the people there and kept up with them for quite a while. Note to self – Don’t wear a shirt that says Supermom to Seven Cheer Me On unless you are prepared to answer the ages of all your children to every single runner that comes up behind you. By mile 10, I seriously started telling people that was taking too much mental energy and I just couldn’t do it. I had 2 pace tattoos, one on each arm, one for 4:15 pace and one for 4:30. I was just behind the 4:15 pacer at mile 10, but stopped to use the bathroom somewhere around there and got stuck waiting. I should have just kept going, but wasn’t sure where another one would be. By the time I got out the bathroom I saw the 4:30 pacer going by, but got going again. I was feeling tired there and was a little overwhelmed by the idea of having 16 miles left to go. Get to mile 11 and then mile 12 goes really fast and I make up a little time with a nice downhill. I lost track of the uphills. They weren’t awful, but they weren’t easy either and hills were a big area of weakness for me coming into training. I realize at this point that I was doing okay and should be able to finish under 4:30 – a time I could live with on this course. I kept plugging along. The crowds were amazing! We ran through several neighborhoods here and I cannot get over how much cheering and support was out there. I got a little emotional seeing the little kids out there with their “Go Mom” signs and really wished my kids were there. I seriously almost started crying on multiple occasions. Running a marathon in and of itself is emotional, but really these people were just something else. I must have waived at every camera too, haha. I figured I might as well have fun if I couldn’t be fast.
Miles 13, 14, and 15 went pretty smooth. I felt like I was going slower than molasses and I wasn’t going fast by any means, but I wasn’t embarrassingly slow either (well not to me anyway). Mile 16 was a very welcome downhill! I cruised right along there and took every fast mile I could find. By mile 16 I just wanted to get to single digits. Somewhere about there the sun really got warm and I was feeling the effects of the humidity. I just kept telling myself 10 miles, easy peasy, but it wasn’t feeling real easy. I think that’s when I had a little bit of a panic realizing I wasn’t feeling strong and started to freak a little about finishing this one. There wasn’t a lot of crowd support between miles 16-18 and there were a lot of people starting to walk. I know I was walking parts at this point. I was just trying to finish without a horrible time and didn’t care about a PR at this point. I just wanted to be done. I was still having fun, sort of, but just the same I was ready for the finish. Mile 22 was a big hill. I remember saying I wasn’t running this one I was walking it and some young guy next to me says it’ll be faster if you run it and me thinking screw you. He was actually a nice enough guy, but that was my thoughts about running up that hill. Of course, he wound up walking parts of it too, lol. Honestly by mile 20 everybody and I mean that literally, everyone was walking. You’d start running for a bit, they’d start walking, you’d start walking, and they’d start running. I think the hills and the heat were getting to everyone at my pace ability. Mile 23 there was a lot of crowd support again and I know I must have been quite the site having out loud conversations with my legs begging them to cooperate just a little bit longer. I also must have asked at least 3 complete strangers if I could borrow their legs for the last 3 miles. That was no game so I kept pushing along. They had another big hill at mile 24 or 25. Who puts a hill there? Ugh, I can’t say I ran that one. I did run parts of it and that was good enough for me. The last mile I was talking to another guy and his PR was 4:41 and I told him if we could just move along a little we could probably still make it in 4:30something. I finally got to the last .2 and the finish line in site and I am telling you my little legs started moving. I was determined to finish in 4:30something, anything. I was so thrilled to cross the line in 4:39:29. Not anywhere close to a PR, but I had a lot of fun with this race. I think I did my best and that’s all I can hope for. My legs don’t feel like death right now either so that’s a good sign! I am ready to start training for another one.
I finished 29 out of 46 in my age group, 166 out of 282 for women, and 470 out of 702 overall. Happy that I’ve firmly moved up to middle of the pack runner now. Making progress.