Keeping it in check

My emotions are in a crappy place so just keeping it in check today. Reminding myself that I don't always have to be positive. I can blow off steam and piss and moan until I get it out and feel better. So you know what I'm pissing and moaning.

Race time - I gave it my all and I mean MY ALL. I do not think I could have made my stupid legs go any faster. I KNOW THIS.  I should not have looked at my standing. I was actually okay with my sucky time, slightly disappointed, but not too bad. It wasn't until I saw I was 123 out of 136 that I flipping kind of lost it for a second. Tears welling up in my eyes and everything.

I am not a "let's just have some fun" kind of girl. It's just not me. Sorry. I'm super intense and high strung. I'm annoying. I'm type A, OCD, that's me. I am okay with who I am. I am usually positive! And I will be if it kills me!

So letting this all out here. Today kind of sucked, but I KNEW this was how it was going to be when I got to the start line. No way to get to the other side if you don't push through this. I KNEW this was going to be an uphill climb.

I'm climbing! Anyhow, next blog post will be more positive. I do not want a pep talk. I am my own pep talk. Shaking this off.